Please take a look at the following list of questions in case your question already has been answered. (If not, do write!) I am trying to save keystrokes so I can answer more questions and not aggravate my rsi.
Another note: As these questions are answered in order of receipt, there may be other answers that are germane to your question. Please check list of previous and following questions, as most of the time I have not cross-referenced one answer to another. For example, there are numerous questions/answers about make-up lessons; please read all of them before e-mailing me. (Use the "Find" feature in your browser, usually found under "Edit," to search on keywords in this QA file.)
And finally: Please put something in the subject line of your e-mail ("piano" as one of the words is helpful!). My filters are set so that blank subject lines are automatically deleted.
Thanks!
Question 1 Difficulty getting students to pay tuition at the beginning of the month.
Question 2 Distracting sibling at lesson.
Question 3 Deductibility of tuition left unpaid when student quits.
Question 4 Breaking away from teaching at a music store.
Question 5 When student quits and says he'll "be back."
Question 6 Selling a studio clientele to another teacher.
Question 7 Parents don't understand damage when their children take the summer off.
Question 8 Parents expect not to pay when their children take the summer off.
Question 9 "Farming out" students temporarily to other teachers.
Question 10 Parent requests "trial period" lessons.
Question 11 Rescheduling around sports practices/games.
Question 12 Allowing cancellations with no payment.
Question 13 Converting from 45-minute lessons to 30- and 60-minute lessons.
Question 14 Calculating a half-hour lesson fee.
Question 15 Giving feedback to parents.
Question 16 Having a make-up lesson policy.
Question 17 Changing from traveling teacher to in-studio teacher.
Question 18 Irritating colleague.
Question 19 Fee possibly too high.
Question 20 Second thoughts about starting a student.
Question 21 Liability waivers.
Question 22 Availability of software program for scheduling, data, and finances.
Question 23 Percent of earnings that goes to the IRS.
Question 24 Method of estimating annual business expenses.
Question 25 Attracting students without holding a music degree.
Question 26 Tuition contracts.
Question 27 More about tuition due during frequent/protracted vacations by students.
Question 28 Student does not bring tuition check with him at first lesson of the month.
Question 29 Adult student habitually quits lessons before summer in order to avoid summer tuition and then re-starts in the fall.
Question 30 Teacher unable to find students through use of a brochure given to students at an elementary school.
Question 31 When a student is ill a month or longer at one time during the studio year.
Question 32 Changing mind about starting an adult student.
Question 33 A parent praises the teacher and then refuses to pay for unexcused absences on "holidays" dreamed up by the parent.
Question 34 Mrs. Lowlife, the Sequel.
Question 35 The best place to advertise. How to find out what to charge.
Question 36 Student is uncooperative, rude, and impossible to teach. Colleague wants to refer the family to me. [This is a problem from my own studio.]
Question 37 Dismissed student writes abusive e-mails.
Question 38 Student doesn't practice; has different excuse each week.
Question 39 Adult male student seems to look to female teacher for needs other than music instruction.
Question 40 Adult male student asks female teacher to dinner.
Question 41 When student is no longer motivated to practice and work at the piano.
Question 42 Trouble with reschedules because of frequent vacations, coupled with payment problems.
Question 43 Wealthy families are "slow pays."
Question 44 Parent asks teacher to come to prospective student's home to give "aural tests."
Question 45 Giving free lesson for a referral.
Question 46 Family plan (reduced tuition payment for sibling/s).
Question 47 Whether to change to a "summer schedule."
Question 48 Colleague pries into teacher's private studio business, insults teacher to her face, spreads rumors, etc.
Question 49 Roth and "regular" IRAs.
Question 50 More about wealthy people not paying; what to do about dismissing a student solely because the parents are problem payers.
Question 51 Responding to telephone queries from callers who want to know whether the Suzuki method for beginners is better than a traditional (note-reading) approach.
Question 52 Abusive mother interferes in daughter's piano studio.
Question 53 Student has a ferociously bad attitude and behavior; two siblings also study and father is professional colleague of teacher in her other job.
Question 54 Jug of water spilled in keyboard area of piano.
Question 55 Mother wants to chat about non-lesson-related topics when teacher calls for a brief conversation.
Question 56 Student has unusually high number of "illnesses" requiring lesson reschedules.
Question 57 Number of "sick days" allowed.
Question 58 Man transports another family's daughter to lesson and asks teacher to increase her tuition and pay him secretly for transportation costs.
Question 59 Teacher going through a divorce wonders if she can support herself and 16-year-old son teaching piano.
Question 60 Studio brochure.
Question 61 Recital food planning.
Question 62 Depreciating assets.
Question 63 Student family has large number of "emergencies."
Question 64 Mother makes insulting, hurtful remarks to teacher who institutes 24-hour notice policy for absences.
Question 65 Keeping books on hand to sell to students.
Question 66 Mini-lesson at audition.
Question 67 Student calls adult teacher by first name.
Question 68 How ABRSM Grade 8 compares with a U.S. college music degree. How to market with the Grade 8 certificate.
Question 69 Parents take issue with dismissal letter.
Question 70 Cure for hiccups.
Question 71 Paying a retiring teacher a fee for taking on her students.
Question 72 Job code for Schedule C.
Question 73 Proper recital attire.
Question 74 Family referred friends to teacher, mentioning fee, when teacher plans to take on new students at a larger amount.
Question 75 When one student is absent in a multi-student family lesson block.
Question 76 Greeting student at next lesson after a pointed disagreement about studio policy.
Question 77 How many times to call back in response to inquiry calls.
Question 78 Teacher is requested to "audition" at studio interview.
Question 79 Student's question about teacher's divorce.
Question 80 Transition from traveling teaching to studio-based teaching.
Question 81 Refusing to recommend a new teacher.
Question 82 Follow-up to questions 48 and 80 concerning teacher who seems to be behaving unethically.
Question 83 Difference between deduction and tax credit.
Question 84 Signing up for fall lesson times.
Question 85 More on signing up for fall lesson times.
Question 86 Teen boy may be in love with teacher.
Question 87Second thoughts, before first lesson, of accepting student with potential problems.
Question 88 How to tell parent the check bounced.
Question 89 How to check for bad breath.
Question 90 How to begin advertising in elementary school newsletters.
Question 91 Hiring other teachers to teach for you.
Question 92 Parent leaves nasty note demanding tuition back and hurries off before a response can be made.
Question 93 More from the hit-and-run mom in the previous question.
Question 94 Last installment about the hit-and-run mom in the previous two questions.
Question 95 Appropriate response when asked how many students are in the studio.
Question 96 Recital fee, recital expenditures.
Question 97 Starting a studio downtown in a large city.
Question 98 Circumstances in which to refund tuition.
Question 99 Follow-up to starting a studio downtown in a large city (question 97).
Question 100 Follow-up to home school "holiday" and tuition refund (question 98).
Question 101 Studio policy contract wording.
Question 102 Decorating church for student solo recital.
Question 103 Teacher leaving music store and asking students to come with her.
Question 104 More on teacher leaving music store.
Question 105 Making and selling a CD of piano playing.
Question 106 Student stops lessons entirely, leaving first lesson of month unpaid.
Question 107 Saving a spot in fall schedule for student who did not study during the summer.
Question 108 Homeowners' Association and neighbor trouble.
Question 109 Music store owner wants to charge tax on teacher's studio-space rent payment.
Question 110 Getting a method series published.
Question 111 Parents expect credit or refund of tuition for lessons of teacher working from a music store.
Question 112 Students who arrive at the lesson in wet bathing suits.
Question 113 Response to how to handle wet bathing suits at lessons.
Question 114 Smoky piano-lovers' meeting.
Question 115 Mistaken scheduling of two students for same lesson.
Question 116 Dealing with parents' gripes.
Question 117 Teacher feels she's too thin-skinned.
Question 118 How to find more daytime, non-after-school-hours students.
Question 119 Student needs to change lesson time every week.
Question 120 Prospects don't show up to interview.
Question 121 What to say to parent when lesson runs long so parent doesn't expect extra time every week.
Question 122 First student of the day arrives very early.
Question 123 Penalties if complete estimated quarterly taxes no paid.
Question 124 Keeping a new puppy quiet during teaching.
The best thing to do is to tell a new student at the telephone query stage and at the audition that your studio policies require payment for the month at the first lesson of the month. Hand the adult your written studio policies at the interview and ask her to read them. Point up your rule further by stating your requirement and asking if there are questions about this. Fussing about money is something most teachers want to avoid. The best way is to address it head-on and at the earliest opportunities, which are the initial phone contact and the studio audition.
As to enforcement of your policies, if the student comes in to the first lesson of the month and doesn't hand you a check, ask if "your mother sent a check today?". If no, write a note in the assignment pad asking for a check to be mailed or brought to the next lesson at the latest. Or, ask the child to come back in with a check "and just put it quietly on the table" before the family drives off. If the parent attends that first lesson, before the family leaves, ask for a check for the month ("Would you please write the tuition check before you go?"). This may require you to gather up your gumption, but I promise it is easier and easier each time. Except that probably you won't find this out because people will start abiding by your policies! (And anyway, asking for a check early on is a whole lot easier than asking for it in arrears when you're already into the next month!) And eventually the "straggler" families will remember.
If late payment persists, however, add a late fee. A few dollars will not get anyone's attention; those who wish to pay at their convenience rather than follow your studio policies will not feel any discomfort from the addition of a few dollars and will gladly pay it to continue in the way they wish to function.
But a half-hour's lesson fee will get their attention!
Instituting a late fee is much like instituting a tuition increase. A month before the penalty fee is to take effect, mail a notice to all studio families. A statement such as this is fine: "As you know, my studio policies state that tuition for the month is due on the first lesson of the month. As of (month name) first, a late fee of $__ will be added to all accounts which are not paid by the first lesson of the month. Thank you for your cooperation."
At the same time you issue this statement, also initiate an advertising campaign in case you must dismiss students who do not comply or if you have families quit in high dudgeon over your presumption in enforcing the policy they knew about when they started lessons! Don't worry about them; you're better off without them!
Once the penalty fee is in place, enforce it with an iron will. Otherwise, people will ignore it, and you'll be back where you started.
Another thing I would advise to solve this problem is, surprisingly, to raise your fee. People won't treat you so shabbily if they perceive you are worth more!
This problem is the parents'. They have not taught him good manners. This may be the way the child behaves at home, so the mom doesn't see it as a problem! Or, that she doesn't care if her child acts this way, as long as he is at someone else's house. Or, the mom may think that since you've said nothing, it's ok with you. Or, she may think part of piano lessons in your studio is your "baby-sitting" the other child so she can read or be oblivious.
Another problem for you is liability. You can bet your bottom dollar that if that child somehow injures himself in the course of wandering around unattended in your home that that same preoccupied mom will be johnny-on-the-spot with a lawsuit! (This is why it's important to have plenty of liability insurance!) Now, to solve the problem. Talk to the parent but phrase your request so that it will be a -benefit- to the student for the mom to do something about the little brother: "Mrs. Smith, Cynthia will have a much better lesson if Bobby is not here. He makes noise and walks around, and Cynthia is curious about what he's doing. This is a big distraction. Would you go to the park with him during her lesson or run an errand?"
If the mom thinks this was a one-time request and they start shucking their coats the next week, smilingly say that last week was -such- an improvement in Cynthia's concentration that you'd like Bobby to be elsewhere every week. Ruefully you can add, "You're not getting your money's worth for Cynthia's lesson when she is distracted because Bobby is wandering around and making noise." While you're doing this, help Bobby back into his coat.
As with prompt tuition payment, it helps a lot if you have something specific in your studio policy about siblings and lesson attendance. If the younger child comes to the interview or the parent mentions a younger one (at the phone query stage, if possible), speak right up and say that arrangements will need to be made for the sibling during lessons, as you don't allow non-students to be in the studio during lessons.
Sometimes you can hear squalling on the other end of the line during the phone query. If so, this is your golden opportunity to mention that the parent will need to "make arrangements for the other child during" so-and-so's lesson because your studio policies do not allow siblings in the studio during the lesson. If the parent balks, hey!, you've saved yourself a -lot- of grief! Let another teacher shoulder this family with no good sense!
No. And I know this is not the answer you wanted.
The exception is if you're on "accrual basis" accounting. If you are, your accountant will have told you that you are. The idea with accrual basis is that you must claim as income all moneys you are -supposed- to get. It wouldn't be fair for you to pay taxes on money you never received, so you can claim that money as a bad debt.
If you are on cash basis accounting (which 99% of teachers are) and get stiffed, it's your bad luck. If you cannot collect your fees, the IRS has no sympathy for you. You have taught for free. You get no tax relief.
Try to avoid this by collecting your fees at the beginning of the month for the entire month. Put this in your studio policy!
As you have discovered, it's more lucrative to work for yourself, as well as offering more flexibility for you and less accountability to someone else.
Don't feel guilty about wanting to leave the store's "protection." It's a good thing when a businessperson grows! In fact, the store's owners were probably expecting that someday you would want to go off on your own and won't be flabbergasted at your announcement.
Naturally, you must notify the owners in plenty of time before leaving. They can find a replacement if they want to. Mention that "it's time" for you to be on your own; don't mention your aggravation at having to share your fees with them. Be polite but don't elaborate on why you're leaving; just say "it's time."
Also notify your students - - in writing - - about the upcoming change. Give them the option of coming with you or staying on at the store with whomever the owners hire. Give the owners a copy of your letter so they will know -exactly- what you have said to your students.
My guess is that most students will stay with you, but start advertising as soon as you -make your decision- to leave the store. Any students you find this way are definitely "yours," whereas the owners may feel that students you taught at the store are "theirs," and if they make a fuss about your taking your current students with you, you will have to bow to their wishes. (Which is not to say that somewhere down the road - - say, a month or so - - families might not quit the store's new teacher and come to you on a private basis. Then the store can do nothing about it. Whatever you do, however, if some families elect to stay at the store or you're required to leave all your students there, *don't* send any kind of solicitation letter asking them to join your private studio!!! This is strictly unethical!)
Since you want to keep the relationship cordial, after you leave, I recommend writing a letter of thanks to the owners (assuming the parting was not acrimonious because of a tug-of-war for the students you taught there). Say how much you appreciated their giving you a start in town, providing guidance, and so on. Say you will continue to depend on them for materials for your students and look forward to working with them in the future. If you wish, send a small potted plant, arriving after your note.
In my experience over the years, when a student quits, he's gone, regardless of what he says.
When the student quits, he actually may have the sincerest intent of coming back to piano study, but it still doesn't happen. Particularly with adults, once that practice and lesson time is no longer required in the daily schedule, other responsibilities (and leisure activities) flow in with a vengeance to fill the void.
I have had only one incident where a student quit and came back. He decided he wanted to play sax. That lasted about 6 months. Then he came back...and now he's at Juilliard. You can't know for sure, but I'd say the odds are 500 to 1 that a student who quits (and says he'll be back) is gone permanently.
Go ahead and fill the spot.
As to how to handle the last lesson, though you didn't ask, introduce several new pieces that are on the student's current level or slightly lower so he can work on them on his own. When he's at the door and says, "I really will be back," you say, "When you're ready, give me a call and we'll look at the calendar." Smile and shake his hand warmly. You'll never see him again.
If this all happens on the phone, you won't be able to give him a send-off with suggested pieces, of course. So just be warm and encouraging. But you still will never hear from him again.
As to selling a studio, this is an area in which there is not much precedent (at least that is published!). There was a letter in CLAVIER e years ago about how music teachers got nothing when they moved and closed down their studio, not the way dentists or doctors or lawyers "sold" their practices upon moving or retirement. This person was whining about how she was passing on income to other teachers - - which is perfectly true - - and thought it was unfair that these "receiving" teachers didn't pay the departing teacher (her) some kind of compensation. I don't recall seeing any follow-up letters, pro or con.
Now as to your specific situation:
(1) Remember that you will be on the receiving end many times in your career and that sometimes it's time for you to be on the sending end.
(2) If you are selling your studio building and equipment, as well as the student load, you might try advertising for someone to buy the whole deal, but I think you'd be quite unlikely to find a piano teacher moving into an area who'd -also- like your location, your equipment, etc. I saw an ad from a teacher one time who was trying to do this. I do not know if she successfully sold her studio as a package or not. Though I was moving to the area, I know *I* was not interested! I didn't like the curriculum she had set up, so I knew her students and I would have a difficult time working out the kinks between her system and mine. She also had a large number of electric keyboards and other group lesson paraphernalia, and I don't do group lessons.
(3) Ask teachers in the area if they would like to be on an "exclusive referral list" for the students. Maybe one or two teachers only. For this privilege, the teachers would pay a set sum. A per-student finder's fee is not the way to go because some of the students wouldn't actually transfer. A one-time fee would be safer for the selling teacher.
Your situation is different, of course; you are leaving the entire student load to one person. You might approach her and ask her to pay you a one-time fee for your largesse. You have done all the marketing and development, and she is being "dropped in" to the business. I am not sure what to tell you to charge her. Perhaps 2 months' total tuition? Four? Six? (I have no idea what dentists, etc. sell their practices for. You might call a couple and ask.)
You may want to offer a time-payment plan if the amount is large. Be sure to have a legal promissory note. (Check Nolo Press's book of contracts for laypeople for examples.)
If I were "giving" the studio to the teacher (or "selling" it cheap), I would not feel a strong need to assist a great deal in set-up. After all, it already is set up! You could be available for consultation (the new teacher calls you on her own nickel), but you don't want to be involved in too much hand-holding. In your case, there may be a problem since the teacher has no experience in the real world and is coming straight from academia. Which is to say, consulting might become a big time drain for you. You might offer x number of hours or consulting and then charge for each hour thereafter.
Your wife should read these sections and also my discussion of problems with summer study. From this she could devise her own policy and then write up something directed at the parents. This document should be circulated as soon as it is written, well before time to make summer travel plans.
Save yourself time by making yourself clear at the phone query stage and also at the interview. See also my answer to Question 20.
Then, reiterate it in your -written- studio policies: when the studio is open, tuition is due. If people plan to go on vacations when the studio is open, they have the choice of making up the lessons in advance, when they return, or a combination of both. In any event, tuition must be paid.
When people tell you they're going on vacation, ask them when they'd like to do the make-ups. This puts the ball in their court and lets them know your expectations.
If they say, no, they're canceling, tell them that that is not an option. "You are welcome to miss and just forfeit the lessons, but, gee, I hate to see you pay and get nothing." This is direct enough for most of them, and they'll cooperate.
If they insist they are not coming and not paying, say, "I understand, however, I cannot promise there will be a spot open the fall. I want you to know that if someone else wants your spot, I will fill it." Yes, this is tough, but you can do it! Remember what you want to avoid!!
Now then, what if they quit when you announce your new policy? Yes, they might. This is a blessing in disguise: you are losing people who want to study with you on their own terms and have no respect for you, your knowledge, your teaching ability, and your business. Bah! Good riddance!
Clever you have put an advertising program into place at least a month before you send out your letter. My suggestion would be display ads (size of a business card) in elementary school "Principal's Bulletins." Add new students to take care of any that drop away; and then begin a waiting list.
First, use this opportunity to dismiss students who are not performing to your expectations; clear the deck, so to speak. This will reduce the number of students for whom you must make arrangements, whatever they turn out to be.
With your remaining students, you have three choices:
(1) Take one to two weeks off. After that, resume teaching, but on a vastly reduced and re-arranged schedule. Move remaining students' lesson times around, scattering them around during the week, so you have blocks of time when you anticipate the baby will want to nurse. This will provide you long "rest periods" between blocks of teaching time. The reduced load because of dismissal will make this re-arrangement easier than if you kept everyone on the roster. After two months of this reduced schedule, probably you will be feeling fine and ready to resume your previous schedule.
(2) Ask colleagues to teach your students.
(3) Take 4 weeks off completely after the birth, without asking a colleague to take the students at all, by preparing your students for this event.
If you have a good idea about your delivery date, no later than two months prior, specifically begin getting them ready to work on their own for the month. Teach them specific techniques for approaching a new piece, as well as practice techniques. (Of course, you've been doing this all along but maybe haven't called their attention to it specifically. Example: "When you see an arpeggiated LH part, you'll make quicker progress if you block it. What I want you to do is block only the changes. Let's find them and circle them. Yes, every time the group of notes changes. After you can get around pretty well with the blocked changes, set the metronome for about 56 and try to get one block on each tick..." and so on.)
I have never "farmed out" students to colleagues but used the "on your own for a month" approach. I had confidence my students couldn't get into too much trouble in only a month. I also knew that there was an added safety feature: practicing would fall off because of no deadlines (that is, lessons).
There is also another side to the "farm out" equation: when you are asked to take students of another teacher for short while. I -have- been on the receiving end; this files discusses options and problems.
I tell people that I do not accept students who do not expect to stick with it.
I winnow out these people at the telehone stage. I don't waste my time having them come to the studio for an interview if they're not in this for the long term.
Only within the confines of my reschedule policy:
If they call 24 hours before the lesson (to the minute!), I will reschedule for whatever reason. If they call less than that, I will not reschedule. Therefore, they must choose to do the piano lesson or the other activity. In any event, the piano lesson will be paid for. The words "I hate to see you pay and get nothing" make it very clear that there will be no non-paid absences and that the choice is theirs as to what activity is selected.
In my studio policy, I specifically state that I will not reschedule for "last minute" (less than 24 hours' notice)changes because of soccer games, birthday parties, car trouble, **parent or sibling illness**, heavy homework, unexpected business trips, and the other specific reasons I've been offered as excuses to be let out of paying tuition. I put these exact situations right in the policy!
I hand out my written studio policy at the interview, and I also go over this with the parents and say, "I want to make this very clear at the outset. This is how I handle make-up lessons. I enforce this policy firmly, and I want to make sure you understand now how I do this, in case something like this happens to you. If you call me 24 hours or earlier, I will reschedule no matter what the reason (even whim). If you call me less than 24 hours, then you forfeit. I do this down to the minute. If you have a 4:00 lesson on Tuesday you have to call me 3:59 or earlier on Monday."
I have "time and date stamp" on my answering machine/voice mail so there's never any chance for "mis-statement."
The exception to my rule is if the child comes home sick from school or wakes up sick.
If the -parent- is sick, the parent must find another way to get the child to lesson. I make this clear in my policy, so the parent has plenty of time to make alternate arrangements against this possibility.
I cannot take responsibility for all the vagaries of the lives of 50 students (and their parents and their siblings and their coaches).
My families have never questioned this because I lay it out that way from the very beginning.
If you act like a professional, you will be treated like one. If families think they can get away with something, they will try it. And if they do try it, you say, "I'm sorry, but it's less than 24 hours until the lesson. My studio policy requires 24 hours' notice. To be fair to everyone, I enforce this rule firmly."
If you have no make-up policy now, and I suspect you do not, get one in place immediately. Send out a memo now saying that there will be a new make-up policy taking effect in September. Outline the specifics. Invite parents to call with questions. Those who do not want to hew to your new line will drop out. You are better off without them, I promise you! Fill those spots with committed students.
Not at all. I make it clear at the phone query stage and at interview that I have only paid lessons or vacations. Otherwise tuition is due and lessons are made up if sufficient notice is given. See answer just above. Cancellation ("excused absence") is not a option I offer. I make my policy very clear and have never had any problems.
I don't blame you for wanting to get rid of 45-minute lessons. I hate them because the schedule is always so loused up!
I'll do 45-minute lessons -only- when it's the same family with two 45-minute lessons back-to-back. This creates a family block of 1.5 hours, thus my schedule is not disrupted by difficulties with atypical lesson lengths. If there is a problem of a school trip or rescheduled soccer game, one person receives no lesson and the other person receives 1.5 hours that week. Whether the "away" person gets 1.5 the next week is entirely up to the family.
So, how do you transition these people and when? When you change tuition rates is a good time; so is the beginning of a new school year or even the calendar year. You can do it any time, however.
No later than one month before you plan to do away with the 45-minute lessons, announce that you are eliminating 45-minute lessons and that students who are currently taking such lessons should let you know whether they wish to change to 30 or 60 minutes.
Be prepared for some major schedule reshuffling if you have a fairly full roster. For this reason, at the beginning of the studio year in September is probably the best time to make this change, as everyone's schedules are in a state of flux and you'll encounter more flexibility.
Double the half-hour rate. Parents see a very direct correlation this way.
Some teachers, however, use a "special half-hour rate." And it's not what you expect!
A half-hour lesson is -more- expensive than 50% of an hour lesson. A range of 70%-80% of the hourly fee is what they charge for a half-hour. So, an hourly rate of $30 would create a half-hour rate range of $21 - $24. Such teachers say that preparing a half-hour lesson is a lot more work since time is so short and therefore they deserve a higher fee.
I use the "double the half-hour lesson" approach, and nearly 100% of other teachers to whom I've spoken do so, also.
I think it is normal for any parent to ask about the child's progress.
Does the parent attend lessons? If not, ask him/her/them to start coming, say, every 2 weeks; or every week if it's ok with you. (I -hope- it's ok with you! Saying you don't want the parent there hints that you're trying to hide something. Of course, siblings are a definite no!)
When the parent is there, you can make observations to her every week, if you like. Be careful, though, not to speak to the parent as if the child weren't there.
Also, you can make statements to the child, which the parent will overhear: "It sounds like you've practiced really carefully this week! Good for you!" or "The Mozart wasn't as far along as I had expected. Did you miss some days practicing, or is there something you don't understand that I should help you with right now?"
Ask the parent if she would be specific in the kind of areas in which she wants feedback. This helps the parent clarify her ideas and also gives you the opportunity to know exactly which areas you should talk about...hit every one of them, as these are "hot buttons" for the parent.
Another approach for content: pretend you're the parent shelling out for the lessons. What kinds of topics would you like addressed? Probably: cooperative attitude during lesson, lesson preparation, attention to technical studies, speed at which student is progressing through material compared to others her age and achievement level, and so forth.
I don't do written report cards. Have you heard anyone who does? I have not heard of such, but that doesn't mean no one does or that it's not a good idea!
I just think verbal communication is quicker. It's more immediate. You have the parent's facial expressions and body language to react to, as well. E-mail is fine, too. Often after a really good lesson, I'll e-mail the parent to exclaim. (I don't use e-mail for problem solving, however.)
Another thing I do, which is another sort of feedback, is that as I announce the name of the child to play next at our big spring recital, I "brag" on the child. This gives the parent an "overall view" of the child's progress. After the recital I speak to each student and each parent and relative -separately- about the child's fine playing. When they get home and "compare notes," they have another composite picture.
If you feel that a written summation would be a good addition to your administrative processes, by all means, do it! (And let me know how it works out so I can make an addendum to this answer.)
Yes. Make-up policy and when tuition is due are the two most important parts of a studio policy.
And, yes, the same policy should be applied to everyone so all students are treated the same way. This way no parent can squawk when you stand firm on your policy.
The how-to is addressed in a file on traveling teachers. Will you lose students? Maybe; probably. But to counteract that, three months before the change will take place, get a vigorous advertising program going so you have students waiting in the wings - - to replace any who quit and to fill the slots that you open by converting drive time to productive income time.
We all have run into people like this! I have two suggestions.
First, build a "wall" between yourself and this person. Have as little personal contact and conversation with her as possible. Don't serve on committees with her. If someone else mentions her in a way that sounds like an invitation to gossip, say something like, "Really?" and then change the subject. You want to distance your physical self and your conversation from this person.
Second, make a change in the way you view your anger. Maybe my experience will be a help to you in this situation.
I finally came to the realization that my being angry at someone didn't hurt that person at all. Not one little bit! Nor did my anger change that person's behavior. It was still just the way it always had been. All my anger did was make -me- churned up inside. Did I want to give this person such power over my emotions? No, I did not, I decided. So now I acknowledge that I am angry at a person and then set it aside. The fact that I'm angry is still there on the periphery of my life; it hasn't gone away; but this person no longer has the power to make me upset. Instead, I get on with things.
Perhaps by severely limiting contact with this person and not allowing her to have power over your life will be of help. Remember that you can't change her behavior; you can change only -your reaction- to her behavior.
If it makes you feel any better, my guess is that this colleague feels threatened by you and your abilities and seeks to build herself up by tearing you down. She is more to be pitied.
How does this fee compare to what a month of dance or karate lessons cost? An average fee for these activities generally indicates what parents in your community will pay for a month's "enrichment activities" for their child.
If you are attracting students, I'd stick with your rate, especially if it's commensurate with dance/karate for a month.
You do not have to lower your rate because colleagues cannot charge what you can!
Instead of lowering your fee, step up your advertising. I have a lot of info on these topics, including setting and changing your rate. Try other avenues to increase the size of your studio. Don't reduce your fee; this will be bad for current students who will wonder why suddenly you are not worth what they are paying.
As this is your business, you don't have to teach anyone you don't want to. And, as this is your business, it falls to you to take care of the unpleasant details. If you don't want to teach this child, for whatever reason, write a letter to the mom (address is on the check) and say something like, "After further consideration, I will be unable to teach ____. I am returning your check. Thank you for considering me for the important task of teaching your daughter." Don't explain why, as this opens the door for questions. Make a bland but firm statement.
Will the mother call you? Probably not. If she does, repeat what you said in the letter. Don't be drawn into adding detail: "I'm very sorry. I just cannot teach ____." Keep saying this until the mom gives up.
Will the mother bad-mouth you to others in the area? Probably not because then she'd have to reveal that she thought things were all set and you "rejected" her. If she does, what kind of people would she tell? Are these families the kind you want to deal with on a continuing basis?
As to avoiding the problem, do it at the phone query stage:
I'M NOT AN ATTORNEY! THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE!!
From my research and discussions with attorneys (including a personal injury attorney), it appears that such waivers are "usually useless." This is because such a waiver is an attempt by the teacher to get around laws (statutes) and legal precedent (case law authority), and judges probably would not be sympathetic to you if you tried to abrogate someone's rights with a waiver of this type.
On the positive side for you, the grandmother would have to prove that you were negligent.
It's not practical to remove "all hazards" from your studio. How could you know what is a hazard and what is not? What to do? The consensus is that you should make sure your liability insurance is up to snuff. Check with your agent; I'm not going to suggest amounts to you!
I am not aware of any. If there are any specialized for music studios, they are probably programs people have done for themselves and are not commercially available. Therefore, I would suggest doing the money and data separately: a database for student records and scheduling; and something like QuickBooks (Intuit) or Money (Microsoft) for invoicing/posting to accounts.
In my own studio, I used to use Quicken, which is really designed as a personal finance package, but since I work by myself, bill by the lesson, and don't have any "draw-from" accounts, I don't need invoicing or fancy financial computing power. I keep student records by hand in a 3-ring notebook and the schedule in a professional calendar (book type calendar with columns for each day, broken up into 15-minute segments). Students are responsible for keeping their own repertoire lists, for purchasing music at the local music store, and writing checks to master class/recital sponsors and anything else that is out of the ordinary.
Quicken and I were -not- good friends, I must confess. In fact, using it broadened my vocabulary quite a bit. A new computer had Money pre-installed, and so I decided to try it instead. Could hardly be worse, right? There is a feature that will import Quicken files, so I tried that. It didn't appear to work, so, with a deep sigh of one put-upon to an unbelievable extent, I resigned myself to re-creating all my categories and sub-categories. (This tells you how exasperated I was with Quicken!) I bought Money 2000 for Dummies, too. Actually, Money is pretty intuitive; I was all set for completely non-intuitive. I was able to poke around and pretty much get it all going. I also discovered that my Quicken files did get imported, for which I am thankful so I didn't have to start that at square one.
Entries are easier in Money than Quicken, I think, but I haven't figured out how to "call out" a report in just the format I want. In fact, it was generating reports that was the final straw with Quicken (the newest version). The newest version was even less user-friendly than the old one I was using!
Unless you already are a Quicken hotshot (and/or need to generate invoices and track user accounts, all tied in to your expense and income records), I'd suggest you give Money a try. There is a demo version you can download from the Microsoft Money website.
I'd be happy to have feedback from anyone who knows of a program which does what this reader seeks. And about a simple accounting program.
The -percent- of your earnings which goes to the IRS is a function of how much you make (plus some other things, such as if you're married, blind, over age 65, and so on). The more you earn, the greater the percentage you pay the IRS. It isn't quite as easy as this, because there are some other factors such as the tax on your "last dollars earned," but this is the bare-bones explanation. Your account can give you the full treatment!
The -amount- of your earnings you pay to the IRS depends on your total income.
The 50% figure may be what your dad pays! If you make less income, you will be in a lower tax bracket (maybe that 15.3% one).
Above, I mentioned that the greater your annual income, the higher the percent you pay in taxes. This is the -theory-. The idea is that is takes $X to subsist and that anything above that is discretionary income. Those who have "money to burn" should contribute more for the public good. Those who have a whole lot of money to burn should do their civic duty to the country which enabled them to live so affluently: by giving a very large percentage of their income to the government to use to finance highways, national defense, etc. The problem is that, for the ultra-rich, there are many of what are called "tax loop-holes": a "hole" in the rule through which people may slip and not pay what they ought to, be it a large percent or small.
As to your exact question, figure 25% as a safe guess unless you're making money hand over fist, in which case you'll owe a larger percentage to the IRS.
You also need to file estimated tax payments every quarter. It makes sense that you would total what you made at the end of the quarter and send in tax on that amount, but it doesn't work that way. Instead, the IRS asks you to guess at your coming year's income; then you divide that sum into four parts and submit one part every quarter. The rub is that if you guess wrong you're penalized. Yes, even if you make -more- than you expected to! Makes no sense, I know, but we're stuck with it until Congress sees fit to change the law. (Contact your Senators and Representatives.)
Do you have an accountant? Even if you actually fill out the forms yourself, it's good to have an accountant who can advise you and answer questions.
If you want to save some money, have the accountant do a tax return every other year for you; you use that as a template in alternate years. There are changes in the tax laws every year, of course, so in alternate years, purchase one of the fat tax guides. You must keep abreast of the changes; ignorance of the law is no excuse. The cost of the book and your accountant's fees [for the studio portion of your family's taxes] are deductible as a business expense.
As a general guideline, take 15% of your gross income (all the money you make before taxes and any other things are subtracted from it) for business expenses. If you live in an area where the cost of living is high, the same purchases will cost you more, so 15% is very likely to be low.
A projection like this is a very good thing to do. Figure out how much you will earn in a year and then subtract 15% of that for business expenses. How do you like the resulting take-home pay?
Note: This 15% figure is what my accountant gave me as an overall small-business number. The 15% doesn't hold true for me. I have found that my expenses are rather more, but I live in an area where the cost of living is extremely high, plus I don't cut corners much at all in how I run my business.
If you file a Schedule C, all business expenses are deductible.
Important: Don't just take 15% of your income and use this as your business deduction sum! Your business expenses may be more or less. If it's less and you are audited, you are in big trouble! If it's more, you have cheated yourself and paid more in income taxes (and self-employment taxes) than you needed to.
Also, please remember that you must document each deduction. Keep those receipts!
If you don't file a Schedule C, declare your teaching income on page 1 of Form 1040 (that is, the front side of the form). This will be money you have earned as "regular income." That is, it is not subject to any special treatment. If you do this, however, you won't be able to take your business deductions - - a special treatment, so obviously, I suggest that you take the trouble to file a Schedule C.
Business deductions include music books, CDs used in your teaching, probably concert tickets (usually considered "education," but consult your accountant), office supplies, postage, recital expenses (food, program printer/photocopying, hall rental, decor), insurance, mileage in your car for business purposes, magazines, etc.
You also can -depreciate- your piano. This is another kind of deduction that you claim over a period of several years. Other pieces of equipment also may be depreciated, such as computers, software, tables, filing cabinets, desks, and so on.
If you claim a deduction for office in the home, this is another business expense you can claim. This includes part of the mortgage or rent, heating, electricity, and so on.
!!!Caution!!!
If you claim the deduction for office in the home, you will reduce the amount of money you can put in your retirement fund. Unless you are going hungry, I always suggest that the retirement money later is more important than the deduction now, but this is your decision.
When you set up your accounting system, set up expense categories that match those used on the Schedule C.
How much music did you study? How does what your music transcript shows differ from the regular curriculum of a music major? This makes a big difference. If you lack a couple of courses in orchestration or conducting, this is different from having only 2 years of applied piano (that is, instrumental study with a teacher). Find a couple of college catalogs to find out what music courses are required for a degree. Compare this with the classes you've taken.
Are you studying now with someone? If not, you should. This shows your commitment to keeping current and to "make up for" not having a music degree.
Are you considering going back to pick up the courses you lack to finish a music degree? If not, I'd advise you strongly to consider it.
Have you joined the local teachers' group? If not, you should. You may be able to get a student rate on membership fees if you are enrolled in college coursework. (I don't know whether private piano study would qualify. That would be a decision made by the teachers' group or its state/national governing body.)
As to marketing yourself with the sort of education you have: suppose there is a wonderful kindergarten teacher who has good instincts and studied kindergarten teaching for a couple years in college before going off to accounting or something else. This person probably can go on instinct and fly by the seat of his pants in teaching kindergarteners, but he won't be able to be hired full-time by the school district because he doesn't have the paper credential. Same with you: you can wing it and go on your own partial training and good musicianship, but you can never join the ranks of "real" music teachers because you don't have the credential.
Therefore, I would get involved in getting that degree. This way you can say you are currently enrolled in classes to "complete [your] music degree." You would market yourself as a person who has one bachelor's degree (or whatever) but are "going back to school to get a degree in what I really love." You'll be respected for doing that - - for making that effort.
Know that you won't be able to charge as much as someone else in your town with a bachelor's, but you can certainly charge more than someone with no college music study at all! After you have that degree, you can raise your fee considerably.
Good luck! I know you can do it!
Rather, I screen carefully at the phone query and the studio interview stages. If I don't sense that this is a long-term project, I don't even invite them for an audition. Therefore, it never gets to the contract stage.
Of course, if you need the money (and this is a -perfectly- legitimate reason to teach and to accept students - - "honey, if you're breathing and have a checkbook I'll teach you for however long you want to study"), you may not want to screen for "temporary" students. Later, you may decide to be more picky.
A lot of people want to "try" piano - - kind of like an introductory course in tole painting at the community center.
Look in the library for Nolo Press's book on simple contracts. Talk to teachers who use these contracts.
(1) As to being short on time for make-ups: consider one day a month, on one of your day-off days, giving make-up lessons that are needed. Or, fit in what you can in holes in the weekly schedule and do the rest on that one day a month.
Another way some teachers do make-ups is to do a group lesson, doing everyone at once. This could be done at the tail end of a teaching day or on one of your day-off days; or even a Saturday (this will make it easier for all parents to get their children to the make-up session). Do this once a month. If the student missed a whole month, then he would get group lessons for 4 months running before and/or after he returned. If a student cannot come on the scheduled group day, it's your choice to have him forfeit or let him carry it to the next group lesson day. If the latter, I'd put a limit on the number of "carries" you allow (1 only, for example). Otherwise, you leave yourself open to being taken advantage of - - except in a different way! As you say, the present situation in your studio is "getting out of hand," so you want to structure tightly any new make-up situation you install. Since the area is affluent, all parents will understand your wish to be in control of your business and thus maximize your income.
Some teachers have a "no make-up" policy and wouldn't change that plank of their studio policies for anything in the world.
(2) Short answer about the credit slips: don't do this. Things would only get more out of control. Whose business is this, anyway? Who's in charge? Who's making the decisions? Whose family comes first?
Long answer: as you may have guessed, having read in my file on studio policy and a response on this Q&A page, I wouldn't endorse your idea of "credit slips." Why would you do this? You are full and have a waiting list!! Your services are in demand!
I suspect you are being wishy-washy because you are afraid you'll lose students. This is a common fear and a common reaction when families press for outright cancellations. As you know, some of them are very skilled at browbeating! If you're not strong, you'll lose every time! Even if you did lose students, you could replace them with ease because of your waiting list. And if you lost them over this, you are better off, believe me.
Also, I don't think you need to structure your financial life around your students' vacations, either. Especially in affluent areas, vacations tend to be frequent and/or prolonged.
You are in a strong position. I'd suggest the following:
Give up the idea of credit slips. When the studio's open, tuition is due. Period. -You- decide when the studio is open (more on this below).
This is my own make-up/"cancellation" policy. I state it clearly at the audition, get agreement, and have no trouble at all. (1) When 24 hours' notice is given, a make-up will be given for whatever reason. (2) If less than 24 hours', no make-up will be given and the student will have to choose between the lesson and the other event, whatever it is. (If the less-than-24 is because of illness *of the student* - - not a sibling or the chauffeuring parent - - I give a make-up; you would decide whether to do this or not.)
True, sometimes there are gripes, but I just say, "I have to treat everyone fairly. This is my policy." I have never had anyone quit because of this, and I suspect you wouldn't either. More in my file on make-ups.
I suggest you keep your make-up policy brief. The fewer parts there are, the fewer parts there are with which parents can take issue. That's why mine's 24 hours' notice; and for illness of the -student- only.
Now, let's talk about when tuition is due.
Decide how many weeks of vacation you want. Close the studio for that amount. This amount and the calendar dates are your choice, made for the convenience of you and your family.
Those who want more vacation than you decide you want to give them have a choice: make up in advance or afterwards; restructure their vacations to match your studio closure so they don't pay you for lessons they don't take; quit (horrors!); and/or risk having someone else put in their place. Also offer the option of having them pay full tuition in order to hold their place in your schedule.
Besides your actual bench time spent teaching, tuition holds a spot in your schedule for the student. This spot you will honor conscientiously and will not fill with someone else on whim or decide to go off and get a pedicure instead of teach. My guess is that your studio families don't understand this basic principal of what tuition is. So, you tell them (in your newsletter/"housekeeping" memo).
Make sure your [new] make-up policy is known to every family. Publish it in your studio newsletter; or write a letter about it (mail the letter; don't use e-mail or "child-delivery"!). If this make-up policy is a radical departure from your former policy, you may wish to follow up with phone calls to all families to make sure they understand. Speak with the adult who called you initially by phone about lessons or is your "contact" in that family, not the spouse and certainly not a child. Some teachers use the written contract approach; this may be indicated in your case.
If a student takes a long vacation, is not paying to keep his spot, and another student comes along (from a new query or from your waiting list), **fill that spot.** There is *no* reason for you to lose money! The vacationing family has demonstrated that it doesn't fear losing its spot in your studio; if they feel no anxiety, you shouldn't either. Fill that spot!
Make sure you state this clearly when the family announces it's taking 4 weeks in July to visit the Straits of Magellan. "Thanks for letting me know. How would you like to work your lesson time? Would you like to pay tuition to hold your spot?" No! I told you I'm not going to be here for the lessons. "I understand. In this case, however, I cannot promise you the spot will be open when you return. I would try to hold another spot, for you, of course, but I can't guarantee when that spot will be during the week nor that there will actually be a spot." What??! Lose my spot??! "Yes. I sent a memo out in September, at the start of the studio year, explaining my [new] make-up policy. In it, I explained that tuition is due during all the weeks the studio is open. Unfortunately, the times you have earmarked for your trip are during my studio year. So, you need to pay full tuition to hold your spot." Why, that's outrageous!!! "I'm sorry you feel that way, but this is my policy." Merciful heavens! I never heard of such a thing. "I understand, but this is my policy."
Note that you have not "risen to the bait" at any time but have remained calm. Nor have you disputed the other person's take on your policy. You have simply stated your policy and stuck to your guns. Once the parent sees that his outrage isn't going to change your policy, he will start to be rational. You also haven't said why you can't let the spot remain open; that's none of their business.
When the parent calls back to confirm, you say, "I'm so glad you were able to work it out. I would hate to have had Rodney miss so many lessons! He'd be so frustrated because he'd be so far behind in September."
Another option is to have the students make up the lessons in advance: "Unfortunately, the times you have earmarked for your trip are during my studio year. Rather than pay full tuition to hold your spot, I'd like to have you take the lessons before you go." This is an excellent solution and is the one I always offer to my students first: 99.9% of them take it. This option allows the family to keep its spot in the schedule. (You can do make-ups in the spot, too!) This option also avoids a confrontation such as the one described above, you get your payment, and the student doesn't get behind the eight-ball by a hiatus in study for an extended period.
Here's another confrontation scenario which includes the advance make-up option. "You'll be away 2 weeks in June and 2 in July. I'm glad you told me now. Let's see. We'll need to find some make-up times before you go." Make-ups? I just want to cancel. "As is stated in my studio policy, I don't do cancellations. I only do make-ups with greater than 24 hours' notice. Since you've given me more than 24 hours' notice, I'm happy to make up the lessons. [Pause.] Your other option would be a forfeit." Forfeit? What's that? You mean pay when we won't come?! "Yes, and I really hate for you to pay and get nothing. That's why I want to do make-ups. Is this a good time to set some make-up times? We can do an hour [double-up lesson duration and perhaps move the student to the end of the student's regular day] on __ or you can come twice a week on __." Well! I never! You expect me to pay and get nothing? Outrageous!! "It's my policy that tuition is due when the studio is open. I really prefer to make up the lessons in advance so you -do- get what you are paying for. [Pause.] If this isn't a good time to set make-up lessons, why don't you bring your calendar to Rodney's next lesson and we'll do this first thing. Or call me at your convenience."
Again, you have stuck to your guns, not verbalized any value judgments on the parent's point of view, and offered a calm, rational solution.
If you don't believe your studio policy, no one else will, either.
As to low cash months, you may need to put away some cash to see you through your studio vacation months. Decide how much you need to save and put it in a special savings account (not a checking account where it can be spent readily!). Transfer from this savings account to the family checking account each month. (This trick works with saving for the quarterly estimated taxes, too.)
Be sure to keep your studio savings and checking accounts separate.
Another option and one which many teachers prefer because it's basically non-confrontational: invoice the parent immediately. That means getting the invoice in the mail the -next- day after the -first- lesson of the month. The invoice will arrive well before the 2nd lesson. If there is no check at the 2nd lesson, repeat the request to the student about the check. Resend the invoice the very next day and mark it "second request." If the child arrives at the 3rd lesson with no check, you face a choice: (1) teach the child and call the parent that evening; or (2) give the child a book and ask him to sit somewhere to read while you spend the lesson time doing chores that need doing. Do not feel that you must entertain the child or "be a good hostess." Say: "Sweetie, I'm not going to be able to teach your lesson today because you mom has not given me a check this month. She should have sent it in with you on your first lesson, but she didn't and I can't teach you until your mom and I fix this problem. Here are some books you might like. Pick one to read, and I'll take care of some things that I need to do while we wait for your mom to pick you up."
Tough? Yes. Unpleasant? Yes. Do you want to clothe your kids and eat ? Yes. No-brainer.
Bottom line: You want the money you are due; you must do the dirty work to insure you do get it from the people who are slow to pay (or hope you will extend "time payments" to them; or plan to pay whenever it is convenient with them). I am sorry you feel uncomfortable on the phone; many feel this way. I recommend you use the invoice system, as this puts a piece of paper between you and the parent - - something the parent probably prefers, too!
If she quits before summer, for whatever reason, she is abiding by the letter of the law; that is, she's no longer a student of yours and therefore does not owe you tuition for the summer. By quitting to avoid paying the summer fee and calling again after summer is over to start again, she is unethical.
I suggest that when she next announces she is quitting, you say, "I understand. If you quit, please be informed that I may not have a space for you if [not "when"] you return." She will be astounded!
Further, if she does quit again and then calls to restart, tell her no. "I'm sorry. I have no openings for you. If you'd like me to call you if I do have an opening, I will be glad to put you on my waiting list." What?! A waiting list?! I'm your student!! "No, I'm afraid you aren't. You quit just before summer, remember? I would have saved your lesson time had you abided by my vacation tuition rules, but you told me you were going to quit." But I was going to be away. I couldn't come to the lessons. I didn't have time. "I understand, but I enforce my policies the same to everyone. Since you quit, I filled your spot. Would you like me to put you on my waiting list?" It's likely she will say no, but you will have had the privilege of educating her about how to treat a piano teacher and you will have gotten a little bit of satisfaction by giving her some of her own medicine!
You don't need this woman!
You don't need -any- students who treat you this way. If they do this to you, they are showing that they have no respect for you as a person and for what you teach. Good riddance!
She's in the right venue. She just isn't using it properly.
She also must think how she going to handle child care while she is teaching. She can't wait until she has another student.
(2) One way is to ask how he "found out about" you and then use that to evaluate. (Of course, there is no way to know for sure.) Did a friend at church recommend you? A present student? He saw your ad? Where? He got your name from a colleague or a music store?
You cannot have a soft spot in your heart for the student. It is not a situation between you and Brian. It is between you and the boy's mother.
It is not worth keeping the student and suffering abuse or poor attendance at the hands of the mother. She'll find another teacher for him, so don't worry that his music career will come to a halt. The teacher is unlikely to be as good as you, but that is the mother's problem. Her actions have robbed her boy of a wonderful experience. No doubt she has done this to him before in her treatment of other adults who interact with her son (perhaps even his school teachers).
Use the "I am no longer able to teach Brian" statement. She'll say, Why? Simply repeat, "I am no longer....." But he loves piano and you're such a good teacher! she'll say. You repeat the line. She will continue to probe and rant, but give no more details. None!
Notice that you didn't say you "decided." You just said you could not. It is not her business why you are dismissing him. You could have decided to take up exotic dancing and need the time for lessons and practice or shopping for a couple of feathers. She doesn't need to know how you run your life or your business.
If she starts to say insulting things to you, as she has proven in the past that she shows no qualms about doing, or wants to whine and draw out the conversation, say (interrupt if necessary when she pauses for breath - - and if she starts talking, just continue on and allow her to talk on top of you if necessary, but you keep talking), "Mrs. Lowlife, I can no longer teach Brian, and I have things that need my attention now. Tell Brian that I wish him well. Goodbye." And then hang up.
Hang up even if she was talking on top of you while you were giving her the swan song. If she was too stupid to listen to you, what you had to say will not penetrate her brain.
Do not let her prolong the conversation. What good does talking to her do for you? None. You're not going to teach the boy, and it's no pleasure for you to listen to her harangue.
If necessary, have this speech written out and just read it right off the paper. Make copies for all telephones so you're prepared no matter where you answer.
Another option is to write her a letter. Use only the "I am no longer able....I wish him well" sentences. Nothing else!!!!! Will she call you? I doubt it. Will she write you? Maybe (this happened to me once). If she does, pitch the letter in the recycling. I'm sure you won't like the contents!! Then go take a hot shower to relax yourself and let this woman and all her abuse go down the drain with the water.
Might this mother tell others about how you so sorely mistreated her son? Maybe, but what sorts of people can stand this woman long enough to be a friend of hers? More people just like her, and you don't need them, either! Don't worry about her spreading lies.
If you have not done so, issue a new studio policy that stresses your vacation and make-up policies. You must take charge of your business, or parents will push you around.
"Dear Mrs. Lowlife,
"Because of your repeated failure to abide by my studio policy, I can no longer teach Brian, starting today. I wish him well with a new teacher. Cordially..."
Do NOT mention the check. Will she call you? Perhaps.
Ok, let's suppose she does call.
You say, "As I said in my letter, because of repeated...." She'll be irate. You say, "I understand how you feel [you offer no value judgment on her feelings], but as my studio policy states...." She may say something else, particularly something threatening such as, "I'll take you to small claims court." You say, "I understand how you feel...." and then, "I have things to do that require my attention, Mrs. Lowlife. I must say goodbye to you now." And hang up! As I noted before, do not allow her to drag you into further conversation. Your time can be better spent, and you do not deserve to listen to her rant and rave.
Will she take you to small claims court? I doubt it. She'll find it costs money to do this - - about $500. (No cost to you.) And what are we talking about as far as lesson fees? $50, $100? (You didn't tell me your fee, and I don't need to know it, or the total number of lessons she's flaked, so I can't guess what the amount is, though my bet is that she's stiffed you for more than she might have paid you "in advance" and which I advised that you keep.)
Now suppose she takes you to small claims court (far less than a one-percent likelihood), the worst of all scenarios.
You are prepared with all your documentation: the letter, your studio policies, the dates she called you to cancel the next lesson, and your chronology of the debacle. (Get to your computer right now and start compiling the chronology while it is still the freshest in your mind it's ever going to be.) Has Brian studied with another teacher? Call this person and ask about Mrs. Lowlife's payment and "holiday" history. Ask the other teacher whether she/he will write a letter in your behalf. Now you're set.
Now suppose Mom generally sits in your waiting area or with Brian in the studio during the lesson.
When they come to the door, you stand in the doorway and do not let them in. Tell her, "Mrs. Lowlife, because of repeated...." She'll bluster. After a moment, interrupting if necessary, tell her, "I have things to do...." If she threatens small claims, you say, "I already am prepared to go court." You are very calm; you have role-played this with another adult, who tries to get you all flustered. Remember, the key is to repeat the same sentence over and over so eventually Mrs. Lowlife sees that she's not going to get a rise out of you, or even different words!
If she sends you a nasty letter, slip it into your court file, unopened. If you get a summons to small claims, go; you're already prepared. (And you are required to go.) The likelihood is that the judge will rule in your favor because your policy is clearly stated. Particularly if you have plenty of documentation. What will Mrs. Lowlife have? Probably only her verbal tale.
If you had to use another student's lesson time to speak to Mrs. Lowlife, make it up to the student with an extended lesson at another time, apologizing to the parent for the inconvenience. Extend a lesson at no charge - - say, 15 minutes - - if 5 or more minutes were taken from the next lesson; or give the student an entire half-hour at no charge.
You want your money, right? You've earned it. If you want it, you'll have to stand up to Mrs. Lowlife. You'll never see this woman again, but you might be confronted with the same or a similar situation again, so take this opportunity to learn how to do this - - it sounds as though Mrs. Lowlife will be an excellent teacher! Jokes aside, it won't be easy to stand up for yourself; I won't lie to you; but I will say that it will be easiER the next time. Get up your gumption and do it. If you are prepared with your statement to repeat and are prepared for the 100% likelihood that she will try to give you a ration of unpleasantness, you will win. You're in charge of your business. Stand your ground. Don't be a doormat.
PS. Without delay, take Mrs. Lowlife's check to her bank and cash it (remember to add this amount to your annual income). Wouldn't she be likely to stop payment on it?! Usually your own bank will charge you a fee for her having stopped her check.
As to commanding a higher rate, it depends on your experience. Are you a new teacher? With a nearly-done Ph.D., yes, you could command more. (I assume you aren't "ABD" - - "all but dissertation," which usually means the student quit the degree because he/she couldn't face the prospect of the dissertation or got bogged down or decided it was more work than he/she wanted to put forth or quit for financial reasons, etc.)
Call local dance and martial arts studios and see what they charge for a month of lessons. This will give you a good idea what parents in your area are willing to spend per month. If you're not experienced, charge a little less. If you are, maybe charge a little more.
Yes; people in ritzier neighborhoods will pay more. When you move, try to be as close to the seats of dollars as you can. People don't like to drive; within a 10-minute drive is ideal. If you rent studio space, the same rule applies; and in this case, of course, where -you- live is unimportant.
mb: "The mother just called me, and I was pretty frank with her about what I expected as far as cooperation and politeness. (She said he played "softly" while you were talking, you'll be interested to hear.) She, I think, is a big part of the problem. I had to say, TWICE, 'Just a moment, please. Let me finish,' when she tried to interrupt me (this was the 4th and 5th times she had done it). I told her to talk to him closely and to find out if he wanted to play. And that he would have to know if his behavior wasn't exactly what was expected, I'd bounce him out. She may call back, and she may not."
Later:
mb: "She did call back, and they came over. The child did not want to play for me, but I finally coaxed him to the piano with some silly stuff. (He later accused me of "having too much fun". Huh???)
"He and the brother had their shoes on my couch, etc., and I had to ask them not to do that. Several times. Obviously no discipline.
"And to all this the mother was oblivious.
"The child said he didn't want to play piano and didn't like it. You're right about the mother. She immediately jumped in with, "Oh, Aaron, you know you like piano." He then announced that he didn't need to take lessons because he already knew how to play, and he knew enough.
"While I talked to him, he rolled around on the floor, and I finally had to say to him, 'Sit UP!'
"When it finally got down to the time to talking turkey and asking him to agree to play piano every day at his house and to give me good cooperation at the lesson, he said he would not. Just flat out said he would not.
"I said, 'Well, then, I won't teach you. This is interview is over. It's time for you to go home.' I gathered his books, handed them to him, and went to the door and opened it. The child was completely flabbergasted. I am sure he had never been called to task at all for his attitude - - and certainly not as bluntly as I did. I think he was -way- past due!
"I said to the mom as they all went out, 'I won't teach someone who doesn't want to learn. If he's interested in the future, you know where to find me.' She said she understood, and that's the last I heard from them."
You did exactly the right thing to drop him, however. First of all, he won't practice. He was uncooperative and verbally abusive in the lesson, and he sent you abusive e-mails.
If he writes again, copy this e-mail (plus all the others he wrote you - - look in your "trash") and print them out and send them to BOTH his parents, not just addressed to mom. Don't tell him what you are doing, as he will watch the mail to steal the letter. Don't hand-address the envelope or put on your return address, either.
If you hear nothing from the parents after they should have received it, do nothing. If, at this point, the child writes to you again, contact his parents by telephone and say that any further occurrence will result in your filing a police report. The parent will understand right away that you consider their son's behavior as harassment.
If you receive further correspondence, make good your statement about the police. It is a sad situation, but this boy could decide to do something worse than send you threatening e-mails. Keep copies of all letters and e-mail, should you need them.
Another question: Do you want to continue to carry him for the sake of the income until you get someone else to fill the spot, doing your best with what little preparation he brings for you to work with? If so, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Money is money. If you get someone to fill the spot, you can bounce him out with no more than a week's notice. Put the new student someplace else for that one week and then move the new student into the lazy student's spot.
If you just want to get rid of him with the least commotion: (1) at his next lesson, tell him he's history; and call the mom to say so ("I can't teach Roscoe anymore.") (2) call the mom and say he has "2 weeks" (no more than 3!) to shape up or he's history and ask her to speak with him. I think this is what you had in mind.
First, trust your intuition. Red flags don't fly for no reason.
Second, ask yourself how financially critical his/their tuition is to you, should you need to dismiss him down the road.
You are probably right that he looks at you as more than just an instructor. I imagine his wife is wrapped up in her career (as male physicians usually are in theirs, of course), and there may be a dynamic at work in which she does not value his contribution to the family (again, this attitude is most commonly directed from a husband to a wife).
It's pretty common for adults of both sexes to become "attached" to their teachers because the teacher offers 100% attention to them in an area of vital interest, where a spouse might not (no time, doesn't value piano playing, trouble in the marriage, etc.).
Here are some ideas:
Simple answer to your question: NO! Do not go. Do not mix business with pleasure. Period. No exceptions. Never. Refuse him politely with, "I am so flattered by your invitation, but I never mix business with pleasure. I don't mean to offend you, but I learned the hard way [even if you didn't - - I did, and you can pretend to be me] not to do this."
Have you talked to the parents? If not, talk to the student first.
Meanwhile, soldier on as best you can. Try to find music that is appealing to the student. Try composition. Ear-playing. Transposition. Improvisation. Sight-reading. How about holiday music that isn't in season (most students love Christmas and Halloween music)? Or, use the lesson to practice. (The lesson may be the only quality time the student spends at the piano.)
The combination of two of the worst problems: problem pays and students who are difficult to reschedule.
Get the jump on them for this summer. Right now, call and ask when their vacations are going to be ("I know how much the family travels."). Suggest make-up times. If the parent is recalcitrant or non-committal, say you need to have this information to schedule the make-ups/do the make-ups in advance before [date].
If parent still hems and haws, or does not contact you, dismiss the student. Make sure, however, that you have been paid through all the lessons you've given because you'll never get the money after you dismiss the student.
Have you considered requiring everyone to pay at the beginning of the month? That is, make weekly payments no longer an option?
Also, quit buying materials for this student. Send the parent to the music store. Since this will likely take a while, "order" the book 3 months in advance.
When you get tired of their behavior, dismiss them. Make sure all the lessons they have taken are paid for, however.
If I were being asked to do "testing," I'd require the student come to me. And I'd question why the parents feel these tests are needed, especially since the child is presently studying. Perhaps the parents are concerned that the current teacher is not doing a good job. At any rate, before I did any testing, I'd discuss the need with the parents.
Most teachers are able to find out what they need to know about a prospective student by speaking to them during the interview, hearing them play during the interview, and after teaching one lesson.
Frankly, it sounds like the parents having your friend jump through hoops for their amusement. They probably won't start study with her.
My advice? One word: run!
Copious verbal thanks and by a hand-written thank you note mailed the next day are sufficient.
If you want to give a -thing-, give a thank-you gift. A gift is deductible (on Schedule C).
A gift might be something like a pencil, pair of shoelaces or hair scrunchee, funky bent straw, frisbee, etc. (all with a musical motif).
If a colleague refers to you, again, a hand-written thank you note is the way to go. Each time. The next day. Remember the teacher with a card at holiday time. If a large number are referred to you (ex.: a teacher is closing the studio to move and refers all her clientele to you), take the teacher to lunch. (Half of this cost is deductible; this percentage may change in future years; check with your accountant.) Perhaps a CD or score you know the teacher wants as a "good-bye" gift.
Here's why.
(1) As I noted above, reducing tuition for other family members devalues what you sell. (2) Is your time and effort worth less for one child than another? (3) If one child took piano and one took flute, would the flutist receive a discount from the other teacher? Or if one took piano and the other dance? Parents know what enrichment activities cost, and if they want these things for their children, they expect to pay. You shouldn't "pay" them for the costs of seeing a second child receive enrichment! (4) What kind of reduction would you make which could make that much difference - - enough to induce the family to place more than one student with you? Half-price to the second and subsequent child? How do you like teaching for half-price? Isn't teaching for too little the reason you raise your fee?
Also to be considered is that it is more difficult to teach more than one child in the family. Care must be taken not to have too much overlap in literature. The less advanced one (usually the younger one) must not feel he/she is less of a musician because the sibling is "ahead" or is advancing more quickly. You must be in constant contact with the parent to monitor how things are going at home and whether there is rivalry or bad feelings.
As to what to say, I would advise the following: "No, I do not have a family plan." Soften your statement: "I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear!" People will not query you on why you don't do this.
If one is pushy and does ask, you say, "I decided long ago not to have a family plan." You don't give any more information except that your rule was established long ago.
Let's say that the caller continues to pursue this topic. You respond, "If you are looking for a family plan for tuition, I am not the teacher for you." I promise you will not get this far.
See also my file on this topic.
If, after you first state you do not have a family plan, the caller says, "Thank you," and hangs up, you know this family is shopping price. Price shoppers are universally poor risks: they are casual about payment (you can't be worth much if you cost so little), they are slow purchasing music, they badger you about unpaid cancellations, etc. You don't need people like this.
Was it easy? No, it was a pain in the neck to create the schedule, but I wanted to free up some days so I knew the kids and I could do things together. Therefore it was worth the hassle.
When my children were young, my studio was smaller than it is now. Moving everybody around was not as difficult as it would be now.
A change to a summer schedule will not reduce the number of reschedule lessons your students will request. You'll still have to find make-up times. Presumably, this would not be terribly difficult when all the kids are out of school, though sometimes families take off for a month-long vacation.
Also note that if you move everyone into only a few days per week instead of five, on those teaching days you will be quite tired by the end of the long day. And your children will have done without you much of the day rather than part of it. This may or may not have repercussions in your family. For example, therefore, if you teach five afternoons now, you might be better off condensing your teaching week to three days instead of two.
If you need childcare, you will need to make arrangements for an unusual schedule. Your provider may or may not think your schedule is "unusual," but keep in mind that it might be looked on as "difficult." (Daycare centers like a steady income and head count, too!) On the other hand, hiring a babysitter to come to your home on those days is easier in the summer when teens are out of school.
For a combination of reasons, I now do not do this, but that doesn't mean a thing for your situation. Evaluate the hassle of the rescheduling. Think about when you'd do make-ups. Consider the impact of a few, but longer, teaching days on your family. Investigate the ramifications of your revised schedule on daycare arrangements. Make a list of pros and cons of such a schedule revision. (A list like this is called a "Ben Franklin," after the gent who popularized this decision-making technique.) In all, which is preferable keeping things the way they are or changing them?
My word!
This poor woman, who is no true friend of yours, has many problems, among them no manners and no honor.
She also is jealous of you and your success. She is afraid she will never be as good as you are. She knows that you know much more about music than she [now] does. And that you know much more about teaching than she does and probably than she ever will because you started teaching quite a bit of time earlier than she did. She is frightened that she will score less than you on the exam or that she won't pass at all! She is afraid she is no longer as good as she once was; that she is no longer "at the head of the class."
She is trying to make herself feel better by saying mean and hurtful things to you and about you, knowing they'll get back to you from other teachers who are as nasty as she is - - why else would they pass on her comments? Anyone who acts this way shows that she is utterly insecure. Ignore any comments from such a person because they are not based in reality and therefore are meaningless.
The fact that this woman chose you to belittle is a compliment of sorts! Why attack someone who is not any good and not worth the effort to "pull down"?!
Now, how to deal with her.
You are not required to be nice or helpful to someone like this. You are required only to be civil.
If she says something nasty or hurtful directly to you, look her in the eye with a totally blank face, say nothing, and turn away. This way, she will "lose." If you respond in any fashion (words, facial expression, body language), she "wins." Eventually she'll get tired of "losing to you."
When she asks a question about your business, you must answer her question with one of your own: "Why would you want to know that?" When she replies, you repeat, "Why would you want to know that?" (You will be like a child saying, "Why?" to every answer given to him!) Eventually this woman will shut up in frustration because she knows you are not going to tell her anything; and that you going to repeat the same annoying question no matter what she says.
This technique will work only if you repeat your question over and over and do not allow her to force a response from you. (If so, she "wins," right?)
When she calls, tell her you can't talk on the phone: "I'm sorry. I can't talk right now. Goodbye." Then hang up! Do not respond to anything further she says. If you say anything more, you open the door for her to ask another question or say something else.
Say goodbye and hang up, even if this means hanging up while she is still talking. Do not worry about being rude by saying goodbye and hanging up. It is your home; she is "invading" it with her telephone call. You have a right to be at peace in your own home.
Your repeated statements will work only if you use them. And only if you use them consistently. If you are not willing to make this commitment, she will continue to harass and insult you.
To make sure you can carry out your repeated statements, practice before a mirror because she'll take you by surprise, at least at first. Maybe you can get another friend to "role play" with you and surprising you with a question until you can respond automatically. In the meantime, whenever you see this woman, prepare yourself to turn away and to repeat your "why" question. Make a card and keep it by the phone so you can read it; this is in case you completely forget what you want to say when she calls!
In short, do not have anything to do with this woman. Do not talk on the telephone with her. Do not answer her questions about your studio, how you teach, how you run your business, how you are preparing for the exam, and everything else. Give her no information about anything.
Do not worry about what she might say to others about you. Those who know you will ignore her. Those who know her already know not to believe anything she says and that she is a jealous, unpleasant, and frightened person who treats others horribly, hoping to make herself feel better.
Hold your head up, secure that you are doing your best work. You are not required to take this woman's abuse. Unless you allow her to abuse you. And that's entirely your choice!
This is, of course, a question for your tax advisor, but I can give you a nutshell answer.
The difference between these IRAs is what happens at both ends of the pipeline: "what kind of money" you contribute to these retirement accounts and whether the money you take out at retirement is taxable or tax-free.
More specifically: (1) With a regular [traditional] IRA, you put in "before-tax" money. That is, your contribution reduces the income on which you pay taxes. Since the government will get its cut one way or the other, when you take money out at retirement, the withdrawals (called "distributions") are taxed. The distributions include the money you put in along with interest earned on it. (2) With a Roth IRA, you put in "after-tax" money. This is money on which you have already paid tax. That is, the money you put into the Roth did not reduce the income on which you paid taxes. (The government already has gotten its share.) The Roth distributions are tax-free.
For example, if you earn $10,000 (we won't worry about business deductions for these examples), with a traditional IRA, you put $2000 of the $10,000 in your retirement account. You are taxed on only $8000.
If you elect to fund a Roth IRA, you earn $10,000 and pay income taxes on $10,000.
So, it boils down to: do you need the reduction of taxable income now or the lack of tax later?
Of course, these are generalities, and tax regulations and economic conditions change all the time, so please consult a tax professional. Or an IRS publication, at the very least. Download IRS tax publications here. Go back to the IRS's front door for other help, including FAQs.
Most particularly, look into the increase in IRA/Roth IRA contributions, as well as "catch up" contributions you can make if you're 50 or older.
Breathes there a teacher who hates to dismiss a student because the student will bear the brunt of the penalty but who hates dealing with the child's family? The problems are 98% money problems. Breathes there a teacher who has not been confronted with this problem?
No, to both.
This well-to-do family lies the opportunity to pay whenever they like; your penalty fees do not dissuade them, as you noted. Letters and calls are marginally effective, as you also noted.
Solution: Announce that they must pay at the first lesson of the month (they may squawk but "my studio policies state that tuition payment in arrears is not acceptable"). Say that if they cannot abide by the policies - - to which they agreed when lessons began - - that you will be unable to teach the daughter. It is not the child's fault, and she will "take a hit" when you dismiss her, but it is only thing that will work. Unless you want to continue as you are.
Write a letter to arrive the day after the student's lesson.
The reason you want to time the letter for arrival after the lesson is two-fold: (1) you're going to sit the student down in your waiting area during her lesson time; (2) you're going to send a copy of the letter out to the car with the student.
When the student arrives for her lesson, as noted above, put her in the family room with a book or magazine and tell her you cannot give her a lesson today because her "parents have been consistently late with their tuition payments" and "are 8 lessons behind now" (don't say "2 months"; use weeks because it's a bigger number and will get her attention). You can be blunt. Send an invoice out with her. Hand it to her as she leaves; don't give it to her while she's amusing herself