What is Forgiveness?
It is NOT absolving the other person from guilt.
In fact, forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person at all. It has to do with you. It is forgiving yourself.
Admitting you were the victim.
Admitting you feel bitter, angry, betrayed, hurt, and whatever other emotions you are feeling.
Admitting you have no control over what the other person said or did.
Deciding you don't want the other person to have control over what happens to you from now on.
Deciding you don't want the other person to have control over who you become.
Deciding you want to change how you think and react to what happened to you.
Forgiveness is not easy, and it's not quick, but it's a goal which you should keep before you.
It's not an endless tunnel, either. You'll get there.
You'll know you're well on your way when you:
- Get through a day without thinking about the person or what that person did to you.
- You no longer have to share your story with others.
- You no longer think "wouldn't that be poetic justice?" if something embarrasing, bad, painful, etc. happened to the other person.
Last updated September 10, 2003.